Absolution, Thy Name is Biscuit

The couple emerged from their Buick as I approached. She was a pepper-haired intellectual, unattractive and meek; he was a captain of industry, stocky, gin blossomed face, dressed in casual lunch meeting attire and boisterous. Stepping out of his car, he announced, “I’m not taking a vacation. I have to work. People’ve got to work, y’know.” She, most expectedly, said nothing. In retrospect, I can only imagine the years of neglect this woman has endured being married to this guy.

We were, all three, walking toward the Borders entrance. Were you a casual observer and had just glanced at our trio, you could guess that we made up a family; I the anxious son two steps ahead and poised to scan the periodicals while mom and dad perused women’s studies and military histories, respectively.

The captain of industry said something else of work but in a more hushed voice, “It’s amazing how few people work anymore these days. Case in point.”

I could see, in the reflection of the store, as the captain of industry spoke his last word, he was glancing at me. In fact he’d even raised his arm in my direction as he said, “Case in point.”

What an asshole.

Sure I was in a t-shirt and shorts and, yeah, I probably could have used a shave, so I can understand how someone could think I’m not the most productive person in the world, but what disdain!

I turned in his direction and said, “What are you insinuating sir?”

“Pardon me?” said cappy.

“I heard what you’d said and I noticed your flagrant little gesture in the reflection of the store window,” I said. “Couple things. A) That wasn’t very nice; and B) You’re a dick. Next time keep your comments to yourself.”

He and his wife were rather taken aback. Shocked would be a more appropriate term. Perhaps they thought his words tripped my trigger and I’d go all apey and wreck their lives. But no, I walked away a justified and rational thinker.

Smiling.

Sometimes putting people in their place can brighten up a guy’s day.